Monday, July 14, 2008
Words Like Weapons
I never meant a word that I said to you, I'm am so sorry for the things that I said. I never realized that my words would have an negative effect. I never realized how cold my words could be, maybe because I'm carefree. I'm sorry that you took it to heart and never realized that it could tear you apart. I need to learn to think before I speak, because many can't take words like me. I think it would have been brighter, if never would have opened my stupid mouth. If you have something that you want to say, and something telling you not to say it, it is probably best to just keep it to yourself. I have always heard that some things are better left unsaid, and I am beginning to believe that this rings true. One wrong word, or sentence is all you need to just kill the mood,. Words are like weapons and they can be as dangerous as a sharp knife.
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The Summer Escape Current mood: creative
The summer is my escape, a time to remember old faces, new faces, old places, new places old flings, new things, favorite things Old memories new memories, random thoughts Remember the summer air, blowing through your hair Remember the summer heat, making you sleep Remember the summer sun toasting your skin feeling the burn until the end Remember the summer crushes, that never lasted, here today and gone next week.
Everybody laughing having a good time, the summer fever rising high..
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Friday, July 11, 2008
I’m Comfortable Here Current mood: focused
I want to just escape the day and just stay here, I'm comfortable here, when I am near This is where I belong, so I'm coming home When I'm here I feel like I'm safe and sound When I'm here I feel like I want fall down
Take a walk down memory lane to make you sane. Because when I'm far I stray somewhere along the way This is where I can be free, this brings out the best in me this is my place, my homebase I will hold in my heart no matter how far I fly It will be there until I die
I have nothing but love for this place but sometimes I need some space. I need some time to listen to my mind so I can understand the signs.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008
Remember The Time When Current mood: worried
You are a precious jewel, remember when you could barely crawl, I carried you, do you remember when you could barely speak, I spoke for you. Do you remember the time when you cried that day, I wiped your tears.
You are a precious stone, that I cherish, so I would hate to lose you. Remember the time when you could not reach, I lifted you. Remember the time when, you lied, I took the blame for you.
This is not like you, where is that fire, activate your power, wake up and fly, before it is too late. If you could only see through my eyes you would be surprised. You don't know how many punches I have took for you, you have caused me so much pain, but it's o.k, because I know you are not perfect. I hope you will be able to see what I see, I hope you will realize that you are making the biggest mistake of your life.
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Wednesday, July 09, 2008
As Opposed To The Real World
I am more comfortable living in a dream world, as opposed to the real world. The real world can get rough when the going gets tough. But, it good to get a taste of it, so you can learn how to depend on yourself. I'm still just living and learning trying to figure it out along the way. The world is not all about fun and games, there are times where you going to have to get serious, but if you can find the joy in everyday life, your days will be so much easier. It is better to wear a smile than a frown. When I living in my dream world, I don't think about the real world. But, then once it ends and I finally wake up, I'm back in the real world. When I was living in the dream world I didn't have any regrets because I know it will never last, as soon as I open my eyes it will end.

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008
That Day Could Have Been One Of The Best Days Current mood: disappointed
I need some time to think, I just can't worry about anything else right now, because this is killing me. That day could have been one of the best days of my year so far. I wish I could just live in the future sometimes and just pass these times. I wish I could just skip some days, out of this week, and just fast forward to the next day. I just want it to pass by, I just don't want to live through it. Have you ever felt out of place, do you feel like you belong somewhere else sometimes. Maybe it would help to just sleep the day away and dream about being in a faraway land., then when I wake it will be all over, just moments away from the night. I wish I could just levitate out of this body, I would love to be that girl today with the big smile on her face. You just don't know how much weight is falling on my shoulders. It gets heavier and heavier with every single step. I just think this could have been the best medicine, perhaps the light to all of this darkness. We live in different worlds, and I really don't think I am living this the way I should be living it. Sometimes, I just feel like I was deprived, and that is why I'm the way I am. I'm always so below the crowd, just always on the outside looking in. Some people have had opportunities to go the distance, unlike me, still here trapped . It is just so unfair, life is so unfair. I really think that I deserved more than this, if I would have known this I would have never came out.
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Monday, July 07, 2008
My Weekend Was A Nightmare Current mood: crushed Category: Life
Usually, I just write in my journal for practice so when I get ready to write a research paper I will be ready for it. Most of the things that I write are imagination, a lot of it is exaggerated. I usually try to write in it each day. What I'm writing now was what I wanted to say on Saturday. My day went o.k., I stayed home, while my mother was in Atlanta. You know if I would not have had to work, I would have went with them. My mother went with my sister to go get her hair braided. I always have wondered why does she have to all the way to Atlanta to get her hair braided. Usually, my sister does my hair she has her license, but she doesn't have a shop yet. I was here all day Friday and my mother didn't not get back until about 7:30, and when she got home she lashed out at me for not cleaning up. She really said some torturous things that day, I guess I now know that I'm just stupid, and dumb. It is hard to not get mad when somebody is talking to you this way. No matter how angry I am, I can't say anything. All I can do is just listen, because if I backfire, it would really get ugly. I am glad that, I have learned how to take these words. No matter, how much it hurts I want say anyting, and if I say anything, I would probably live to regret it. Every word is important, so you have to really be careful with the words you chose to say. Also, our washing machine broke on Saturday, so my mom tried to fix it and ended up hitting the wrong switch, and the hot water heater just burst, and water started flowing and we couldn't get it too stop, my mother said that her head started throbbing and she felt like she was going to have a stroke, the shock was so severe. We had to go outside and turn the water off, so Saturday was a nightmare. So this weekend, was not one of my best weekend. Today was a little bit better, it was better than Saturday. I had to work both days, Saturday and today. I work from 5-10pm on Saturday and 5-10:30pm. Tonight the time just went by so slowly, and I was kind of surprised that I didn't get my break until about 8:30 tonight, just one 15 minute break.

3:20 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Saturday, July 05, 2008
It Doesn’t Matter Where You Came From Current mood: talkative Category: Life
I am proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I want forget the men who died who gave that right to me, that is the importance of this day today is about independence.
I am an American girl, born and raised, but I could of been born in Australia, Canada, China, Japan, Europe. I'm American in the U.S., but when I go to another country I'm a alien. It is a shame that people from other countries are categorized as aliens. If you really think about it, it doesn't make sense. I believe that all people should be categorized as human beings instead of aliens. It is like they are prohibited from private property, they make it seem as if they are not really human. I think this issue makes me think about equality, which means that all people should be treated fairly no matter where they came from.
I really don't think it matters where you came from, because we all have the same red blood running through our veins, and if we were to peel back our skin we would all be just raw flesh underneath. So eventhough we look different on the outside we look the same on the inside, the same heart, the same liver, the same bladder. I'm am all for different cultures, I try not to be stereotypical. What maybe ordinary to me may be strange to someone from another country and what maybe ordinary to them would probably be strange to me. Eventhough I didn't come from another country, I am proud to be an American, I don't have a choice but to show my pride, and I am sure if I was born anywhere else I would do the same.

Here is a poem I am working on below.
Something just keeps on shining in the dark, like a spark, the fire of my desire. You are the cheer in my ear. It makes me smile like a child. I can't turn of this light, that is in my sight. It just me and you tonight dressed in white dancing in the light. You have a soul of gold, that will never grow old. You have made your mark
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Friday, July 04, 2008
Safe And Sound Current mood: scared Category: Life
I hope I will be safe and sound tonight. It is scary to be here all alone in the dark. I can't sleep, I'm still wide awake, so paranoid, paying attention to every sound. Just one crash, can't be ignored. If I just ignore the sounds, my life could be in danger. ignoring sounds will add to my list of careless mistakes. My mother always told me to pay attention, she always told me that one mistake could cost me my life. I always wondered why she was always preaching to me about every little mistake I made. So, I'm just going to have to learn to be more careful and aware of my actions. I Just hope I will be safe and sound tonight, I will try not to fear, because the day is near. I hope when fall to sleep I will wake up to a new day. I hope I will not have to fear, and I promise not to shed a tear, because I know I will be safe and sound tonight
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Trying Not To Cause A Commotion
I think I will always feel caged, without commitments and vows. I don't feel that I will ever be free, which is the reason why I don't cause much commotion. People always wonder why I'm so peaceful. I could cause a commotion, but why. My life is already filled with enough stress, so why would I just add to my problems. I'm not perfect, and theres is a possibility that I could make a mistake, but, it will not be because I wasn't aware of it. I'm usually quiet and calm trying not to cause a commotion, because of the drama that is already evident. I don't think I need to add more headaches and heartaches. I'm trying to focus on creating peace instead of creating more drama. It is time for us to all come together, we need to be making peace instead of always causing a commotion. Why can't we all be friends instead of enemies. Lets stop and settle all this drama. But, I think as long as we live it is going to be impossible to live without drama, that is just how life is, but I'm going to try to find peace in this old dramatic world. It not going to be easy, because I'm human, and I have weaknesses.
9:24 PM