Life's A Constant Struggle

I didn't update yesterday, a lot of things have been going through my head, I'm still struggling. I'm still thinking about what I really want to do with my life. I really need to start thinking about it. I have been struggling with this for quite sometime, the way my mother describes it she doesn't think it would be the best time to get into this, because we have had some experience with this situation. I was thinking about going to the art institute online, because I don't know if I want to move right now. I could go back to midlands technical college and finish my degree, but I don't think it is going to help me because it's just general studies. During this break I really found out how much I do love music, I can't deny that, and I think that is what has me so confused. The fact, that I met the artist, and the guitar player, just out of the blue. I actually bought a guitar tape, and started learning how to play this. I never knew how you can make a song with just your voice and a guitar. I guess I see other do it, and I want to be involved. Many people tell me that I would never make it, and then some people are like you might make it. All the things that happened are strange. I think I need to find somewhere I belong, but where do I belong. You can tell I don't have much faith in myself.

We Can Be Heroes

I almost forgot today is Dr. King Day, I felt the need to talk about this on my blog since it a really inspirational part of history and inauguration day is tommorrow, so it's inauguration eve. I wish I didn't have to go to work tommorrow, so I can see the whole thing on tv. But, I will tape it tommorrow, tommorrow is going to be a very historical day for the country. It started with the Civil War, and then Abraham Lincoln help free the slaves, then later Dr. King''s Speech it was the turning point, but it was still not equal, and it's not really equal now, it's just illegal now, because we all have rights now, except people from other countries. But, I know it's 2009, but some of this is still going on, but hopefully things will get better.

I would like to go to the inauguration, I would have been there if I could, but it's going to be just as exciting seeing it on tv. . It was another turning point for this country, in order to unite the nation. Also, Atlanta, GA is a very historical city, that is where Dr. King was born. I remember when I drove to Atlanta, coming back getting off the wrong exit on king blvd. I got off on that street and I don't know where in the world I was, that was one of the scariest times of my life. But, I found my way, on that day. I guess that was just a lucky street


Biography
, (January 15, 1929-April 4, 1968) was born Michael Luther King, Jr., but later had his name changed to Martin. His grandfather began the family's long tenure as pastors of the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, serving from 1914 to 1931; his father has served from then until the present, and from 1960 until his death Martin Luther acted as co-pastor. Martin Luther attended segregated public schools in Georgia, graduating from high school at the age of fifteen; he received the B. A. degree in 1948 from Morehouse College, a distinguished Negro institution of Atlanta from which both his father and grandfather had graduated. After three years of theological study at Crozer Theological Seminary in Pennsylvania where he was elected president of a predominantly white senior class, he was awarded the B.D. in 1951. With a fellowship won at Crozer, he enrolled in graduate studies at Boston University, completing his residence for the doctorate in 1953 and receiving the degree in 1955. In Boston he met and married Coretta Scott, a young woman of uncommon intellectual and artistic attainments. Two sons and two daughters were born into the family.


biography and speeches
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1964/king-bio.html

Things Have Changed

Did you know I have about 3 blogs that I post the same things on. I haven't even updated them yet. Well, a lot of things have changed for me, since my brother moved back in. I don't have as much space as I use to. I really feel for him though, because his heart has been broken. I just hope he is going to be alright, I'm just afraid something is going to happen. I know I shouldn't complain to much because it could be worst, just look how the people are living in other countries they are fighting and killing. It is some really crazy things going on in the world today. I would probably be in a mental institution if I was over there. I'm almost there now. I got a surprised visit from my sister in Atlanta, it's always nice to see her because I don't get to see her often, she is the sweetest. For some reason, my tv channel was turned to abc family, the Notebook was on earlier, and now The Cutting Edge. I didn't really look at either but saw some intense love scenes in The Notebook but I wasn't really paying attention. I have seen The Cutting Edge before, it's a good movie. Well, I checked out a new blog that was started by Nathan Wrann today which was very interesting. http://nwrann.wordpress.com/ It is called A Block Too Far.

Recap

Jan. 16th, 2009 | 02:22 pm

I am still working on sending off an Avon, order as of know it is considered to be a late order. I have been flipping through pages, trying to find something at a customer ordered.

One of my customer's quit the job, so now I have to find out if she still want the days of the week earrings. I went in there today to deliver, and the other employee, told me I'm sorry she doesn't work here anymore. I was wondering what happened, I saw here the other day, and she seemed fine.

I did talk to Lee again today, she has been sick, and I just hope she will get well soon. She sent me an email and she wants me to enter the poetry contest, and I think I'm going to give it a shot. I have been meaning to check LJ, all day. I was trying to find out more about Nick Santino earlier because he is working with William Beckett. My brother got a new phone, because he lost the phone he was talking on the other day, it's like it disappeared. I have been needing to upgrade every since July 2008. I will upgrade soon, I was looking on the verizon website at some phones, but have not made a choice yet.

Balancing Heavy Weight On A Tightrope
Jan. 15th, 2009 | 12:05 pm

It is finally Thursday, today I do go to work. We still don't have the hot water heater installed, the guy is supposed to be coming today. Currently, we have been boiling water. it feels like I'm on survivor, I think they have to make fire, because they don't give them matches, and lighters. It's not as bad as being on Survivor, the part about boiling water made me think about it.

Last night something bad happened and it is like don't we already have enough problems, and just to add more to it, the weights are becoming too heavy, for everyone who is related. I try not to worry about, I just try to avoid conflicts if at all possible, because we don't need to add more weight. It feels like we are lifting a 100 pounds of iron. I'm really scared for the ones who are walking on tightrope in the family, I hate when it gets down to the wire. I think you only get 3 chances, and the fourth time is charm. It not like we can watch them 24/7, the adults act like children.

The hot water that we had in there has probably been in here every since this house was built so I think it was time, it's amazing that it lasted this long. I think I just want to get an apartment when I get a place of my own, so I will not have to be responsible for this. This house is ancient, so you never know what is going to shut down next, I don't know how old it is, but it's old. If we even move somebody would probably tear it down and turn it into a store.

I Gave You Everything I Had

http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/groups/mondayeyes/journal/66221611/




January 14, 2008
All-Time Favorites.

This morning started off interesting, I just got off the phone with my sister in New York, I think I should move up there eventually or to Atlanta. I could always come back home. I could start out there then go from there, jobs here are a thumbs down. I don't know if it is me, or this place, life is supposed to be about having opportunities taking chances.

Well, we talking this morning about music, she was singing all of her favorite John Mayer songs. She was like have you downloaded the "Villiage Sessions" yet, and I was like yeah, I love it. She like his version of "Dreaming With A Broken Heart" on the villiage sessions. She likes "Clarity", "83", "Comfortable", "Heart Of Life", "Message In A Bottle", "My Stupid Mouth", She told me she like how he can turn a conversation into a song. She loves "Daughters", and "Body Is A Wonderland", but she told me she was tired of hearing the songs on the radio.

I like "No Such Thing" but she said she was tired of that one, but I'm not. I like "Why Georgia" "Great Indoors", "City Love", "Back To You" "Bigger Than My Body" "Somethings Missing", "Home Life", "Comfortable", "Neon", "New Deep" I like every song off of Continuum

You Can't Live With Or Without Them

Despite all of my concerns I did run up on a few interesting articles like Bono's column in the New York Times and the Best Jobs in 2009.

Bono's column in NY Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/opinion/11bono.html?ex=1247374800&en=07bd2a60c2a6e5b0&ei=5087&WT.mc_id=OP-D-I-NYT-MOD-MOD-M077-ROS-0109-HDR&WT.mc_ev=click

25 best jobs of 2009
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2008/12/16/25-best-jobs-of-2009/?ncid=AOLCOMMjobsDYNLprim0001


I was just thinking about this today, you know how good I am at remembering faces. Well, I saw someone that I graduated with and he pretended that he didn't know me unless he had forgot, and I didn't make myself known, because we were never really friends anyway. We just took some classes together. He has really changed, I remember he use to be a skinny. He looks different now. I noticed that he was wearing one of those dixie rebel T-shirts. Also, saw a red truck flying a huge rebel/confederate flag, this was the first time I had seen this. I don't know what it means, and I will not assume but I don't think it is a good sign. It could be a symbol of hate, or it could mean I'm a tough guy, I'm still confused. Well, I'm not going to let it spoil the rest of my day. I not going to worry about, I don't have to live with them.


Also something else has been on my mind like college and tuition. I know someone who is close to retirement age, and she has a child who is going to school. She went before she was 24 years old, and they had to put all of the student loans in her parents name. I think it is a shame that they do that, if you are at least 18 years of age, you should be responsible for your own student loans. I say that, because children usually start working at age 16. When you are 18 you are considered to be an adult. I don't think parents should have this debt hanging over their heads, especially at retirement age, it is sad. Then, it's worst if the child doesn't have a job after they finish.

A Cold Winter Day

I think today was the coldest day that we had all week, could of been about 55 degrees. I think my day went well because I'm still alive, my work schedule was normal today, it wasn't like yesterday's 6:30 to 11:00pm. It was pretty busy today, they could of use a few more helping hands. I remember when I go there they said that no one else was coming in so they started pulling people from their departments to work on the registers. Many people have been complaining about the way they cut their hours. Also, they say that our sales are way high, many say that think it is greed. I'm thinking that too, because why would they be cutting the hours and the sales are up. I think a lot of things are going on behind the scenes. This makes me think why weren't they hiring cashiers when they needed them most. They decided to do that unecessary remodel instead, and a lot of customers thought it was unecessary. They were like they need to be saving that money to hire more cashiers. But, it has been slow lately, and that is to be expected in January until people get their tax refund checks. I can't say that I like working here, but it's a job. Right the economy is just bad, and it's not suppose to be this way, but I will believe in time it will get better. I think everybody is effected by this, rich, poor, young, and old.


Winter
http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/journals/santiheart97/entry/3618291/?entry_id=3618291

Signed Copy Of Folie A Deux

don't know if this was posted but I have a friend who trying to sell this signed copy of Folie A Duex. Here is her message below:


I'm not really around on the forums much, but I thought maybe one of you might be interested.

A friend of mine from school runs a webzine (http://www.theshakedownmag.com - you might like it, it's all about the scene & then some), and she's trying to raise enough money to get a booth for the webzine for a few dates of Warped Tour. Part of how she's doing it is auctioning off one of the signed copies of Folie she snagged from Pete when he went to the Virgin store in New York, along with the Fresh Only Bakery bag he handed them out in.

The auction is here, with a few days left on it. Go check it out!http://cgi.ebay.com/Autographed-copy-of-Fall-Out-Boys-Folie-A-Deux_W0QQitemZ180318646561QQcmdZViewItemQQptZMusic_CDs?hash=item180318646561&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
&_trkparms=72%3A1205



My favorite videos of the day are below.

I found the piano version of one of my favorite songs by Link Park, but there is nothing like the original version with Chester singing. I ran up on this one while I was listening to a song that I like by Phantom Planet, suggested by Ryan Ross of Panic At The Disco.

Piano Version of "Shadow Of The Day






Phantom Planet"I Don't Mind" acoustic version With the shades the singer of Phantom Planet looks like Brendon Urie.

Hot Topic Extremely Intimate?

Well today has been an exciting day for me. I woke up this morning earlier than usual, dumb early, like 4:45am in the morning. I haven't woke this earlier in a long time without much sleep. I have went to bed at 4:45am, before then sleeping until about 11 in the morning. I usually set my alarm clock. I think this is like how they wake up in the military, they wake up as probably as early as 4am too. I remember waking up that early for a previous job that didn't last long.

I woke up at 4:45am, and when you wake up that early you just always feel like you shouldn't be awake yet. But, I knew if I wanted to have a chance at seeing TAI, I had to move. So, after that, I put on my jeans, shirt and reversible gray/black jacket, and the long black coat on top of it because it was cold. The coat is too long for me, but who cares as long as it keeps your warm. So after that, I ate a bagel, cereal, banana, and got ready to drive down the road. I have to get some gas before i went so that slowed me down, and I used the gps system, that is just one of the most amazing pieces of technology, one of my best friends. I wish I would have bought one sooner, it helps. It was actually 6:05 when I got on the finally got out of town onto to highway no. 1, so when I check the gps it said that I would get there at approximately 6:40am. So, I drove and finally got to my destination at 6:46am, because I passed the mall, it still looked like it was still night at 6:30am in the morning. So, I entered and then I didn't see anyone, but a few cars, it looked deserted, and there were not any lights on. I didn't think it was open, I was just thinking that the Hot Topic staff told me something that wasn't true. Then, I saw a some people going in and coming out, so then I decided to park the van, and go to the door to see if they were open. As I entered the doors, I was surprised that it was not well lit, these are the lights workplaces leave on overnight. I was like that was weird, but then I saw people in there walking, entering and exiting, not many people at that time in the morning just a few. I think it would perfect for powerwalking.

So, after I got in I was on my way to Hot Topic, it took me a while to find it but I found it. I knew this was the line when I saw people sitting outside of Hot Topic, and when I got there everyone was cool, and I was no.15. Then, pretty soon, one of the Hot Topic Hostesses, Jodie came out and greeted us and explained the whole game plan, like what we were supposed to do when they open, what time to arrive and everything. She tried to get them to open the store earlier but they couldn't. So, she just mingled with all of us until time. Just because they couldn't open earlier, she decided to buy the first 15 some breakfast from Chick Filet. I started not to get anything, but I decided to get the chicken mini, they said they were good, so I got those. I usually eat the grilled chicken, but this time I got the chicken mini. Also, I introduced myself to one of the girls that I see on the boards, she is notaprettygirl on the panic boards. I don't think she recognized me, because my hair was different, but we got to talk for a while. Then, as the hours passed the line increased. When I first got there the line was that long, only like 15 people, and it was a gradual increase. I am just so happy that I was number 15, and I came there not knowing that I was going to have a chance at seeing play that acoustic show. I'm keeping my wristband in my dashboard, so I will not forget it. I could put it in my top drawer, but it should be fine in there.

After they finally opened the doors, then somebody commented on the sign, which said that the show was going to be extremely intimate, I would say, because the Hot Topic is a small place. Then, after that, they started letting 5 people go in at a time, Jodie guided us through the whole process of choosing what you want, and then where to checkout. It was a hard decision for me, I didn't know whether to get that pretty colorful TAI shirt or The Cab's CD. I wish I could of bought both but I only could buy one. But, I think you could of came back later and purchased a second item if you wanted to. I couldn't decided so I asked a friend. Then, I told Jodie I need to take some time to decide. I couldn't help it the shirt was so pretty, I will buy the Cab just because they are on the tour. I know I should be saving dinero, but don't people like to drink their beer and smoke their cigarettes. Think how much money they would save if they didn't. Well, I'm wasting my few extra dollars on music. After that, went to the checkout, still not thinking that I made the right decision.

Forever Young

I just can't believe it's already January 8, 2008, and this is one of my friend's birthday, Adam T. Siska, I think that is the only thing significant about this day, I have already checked the calender. He is 21 today, and I remember finally getting my license at 21. I can't believe I'm older than him. He so much taller than me in-person. I don't know what happened to me in the teen years, low levels of hgh, or it could have hereditary. All the boys in the family are average height, but all the girls are short, except my sister in Atlanta. She is about the tallest one, in the family, she took after her father, because he was tall.

An Acorn In My Pocket

Not really much going on today yet, just hanging out at home on my day off. . My workout really helps sometimes, I always have been forgetting to stretch after workouts, I really need to start back stretching again. I've been thinking about that guitar, trying not to forget all the thing I've learned. I have actually tried to find "40 Steps" to see if I could remember it. This acoustic show has me thinking about these types of things. But, I know that there is a possibiltiy that I will not get to see them, that is usually how my luck is. But, I am going to keep my finger crossed. Well, if I don't get to hear them play at least I will get to say hello to them again, hopefully, you never know.



I hope I will get to to see William and Adam on Friday, I am going to keep my fingers crossed. I wish I had an acorn that I could put in my pocket for good luck, I wonder could I use a quarter. I still can't believe that are coming this close. I haven't been to the Columbiana Centre Mall in a while, but I will go there today. My mother's encouraging me to go, she might even drive me, because I have worried her so much in th past. But, I will drive myself, she doesn't have to go with me. When I told her that she was like I know you're going! I wish me and her had the same taste in music, it's funny how she describes the music I listen to.

I have been out in the wind today,up to 45 mph winds, but I'm not complaining, the winds doesn't bother me. You can really hear it though, it sounds like the roaring waves on the ocean or a high flame burning on a gas stove. I would chose wind and sun anyday. The only things about the winds is that they make your clothes stick to your skin when you walk, and it messes your hair up, that isn't such a big deal. But, I'm thinking if I'm not awake by now, after the workout, that maybe I should go outside and stand in in the yard and feel the wind on my skin until I wake up. I should of flew a kite today, it would have been a great day for kite flying, if you interested in that hobby. The winds are really severe enough to cause an power outage, I had better get candles for candlelight if that happens this evening, I might have to have an acoustic evening with no electricity. The winds are agitated, but it's

TAI Is Coming Town

TAI Is Coming To Town, regardless even if I don't get to go, however I'm not going to get excited, because you know how that goes. I would just love to see that Acoustic Performance too. I would be nice to see them again. I thought Fall Out Boy would be showing up but I misunderstood.

Earlier
Cheer's to another day, luckily we made it through yesterday. Well, today I have to go to work earlier, they have some of the strangest schedule and my work routine is nothing that you didn't already know. I'm to have to get a ftp address, so I will be able to upload my website with dreamweaver. I'm tired of searching so I think I'm going to go with host monster for $4.95/month. I have just had trouble coming up with a domain name. This is something I'm going to have to do in order to use dreamweaver, there could be other ways, but I haven't looked in to it yet. I created my sister's website, and I could put her website on this server so it can be found. She is not ready to use it yet though, so I have time to get it together.

More Later

Yesterday was o.k., I got off earlier than usual, I saw some interesting people, like I said I met red beard. I checked out a peculiar young gentlemen with a a long red beard, it looks like he was from another time. I don't think he was a true red head, because his hair was dirty brown in the back. Tonight I was looking at VH1 and saw that the rock of love love bus was on, I wasn't expecting to see another rock of love series. Will Bret Michaels ever find his rock of love, it seems like he can't make up his mind, but it's normal. I think he just like's to be on VH1, and I watched the the new show a real chance at love, that one is probably going to be good. I watch these shows every now and then on Sunday nights when I come home from work.

Untitled

Detox Just To Retox
January 3, 2008

True Story, I know I'm not a cop, and but 2 people have been abducted and you can check it on wltx.com. It could have happened to anyone, I wonder is that on everybody's CBS. This happened last night. I'm sure everyone's has heard the news. Well, it's nothing new bad things happen here all the time, you just wonder what will it be next. They could be in Atlanta, GA by now, but I'm sure they have the cops our there searching.


Did you know that you could be poison? Have you ever wonder how poison you are, I know I'm toxic because I haven't been drinking 8 glasses of water a day, and I can't drink 8 glasses today because I have to work. Which is the reason I don't like to have colds because at work you can't not get the cold out of your body. It would be gross to spit the phelgm out into the trashcan, that's why when I have a cold it seems like it last forever, because it's hard to get the cold out of your body. Also, I can't keep running back to the restroom everytime I cough, it is so gross, but it is what it is. The poison is in my body, and who know what is going on inside, I think I'm just going to have to detox just to retox. Chemical imbalances, from the chemicals in processed meats and foods. Sometimes I wonder how many contaminants we are taking into our body, but I not a germ fanatic, like a person that goes around wearing masks, gloves. I try to wash my hands regularly, but it doesn't effect my everday life. You can drink water to try to get the toxins out of your body and I heard that exercise is good too, is that why a feel better when I do it. Before I let my nephews take over my computer, I had chance to listen to FAD, a few songs, like Disloyal Order of Royal Buffalos.

Also, yesterday evening I was listening to the classic rock radio station and I heard some familar songs like Layla, I am familar with Eric Clapton's version. Also, at work I had David Bowie's "Underpressure" in my mind. When I was working on the cash register, greeting customers, and when they asked how I was doing, I told them I was find, but then I mumbled "under pressure" under my breath. Sometimes, I do get nervous and I have to try to find ways to calm myself. I'm really afraid, and I'm just going to have to try to come down because it's not healthy, it's dangerous. It i nothing to smile about, and it's definitely not worth with it.

More later.

Read about the essentials of fashion

http://www.friendsorenemies.com/web/foe/groups/mondayeyes/journal/65595381/

Coffee Talk

I just got back from my trip, I went and met Lee. She was much more interesting in-person than on the phone. I think she is cool, a very eccentric person. When I call her she said her friends band was practicing and she just had to get away from it, so we just decided to meet at the Waffle House. My mother did go with me and let me tell you we had a blast. We shared coffee, and had a nice conversation. I didn't know she had a sense of humor, she's really funny. She like a really expressive person, who speaks what's on her mind. Also, I found out she doesn't really like computers, unlike me. You can tell I love computers, because I'm on here 24/7 hours per week, not exactly, but I'm usually on here everyday. This machine is strange, but I don't think we could live without out in a workplace, that would really slow the pace of things. It has been a long day, a cloudy, rainy, cold day. It wasn't that cold, but colder than usual. It hasn't really felt like winter lately, really a spring-like feel. Like today it's cold, but it could be warm tomorrow you never know.

ps. I have thought about upgrading so I can make my own theme, this is the Winterice theme

1st Favorite Interview Of The New Year

MTV Shows

Happy New Year

This is my first post of the year, Happy New Year everyone. Well, it is a new year but nothing changes on New Year' Day. I still have to work at the same place, it's so routine, the same old crap every year. I am only doing this for money just so you know. One of my resolutions is to leave the Walmart that I work at, maybe transfer to another I might just get a job at the new Walgreens. I will do anything, whatever it takes, I been working on putting some notes to something that I wrote. I would be willing to build the 51 th state. I feel like a rag doll like a person that is being used, on the edge of just saying blank this, I'm out of here. It's coming, I don't know when but it's coming, I can feel it. It just gets to a point where it is not worth it anymore, I have seen a lot of things that go on in there that you wouldn't believe. It is so unfair. I think I'm going to start with "That One Night In October", there are not any bass parts, and guitar parts yet. song of the day, "New Years Day" by U2

1st Favorite video of the new year
was TAI on NYE on December 31, 2008

New Year's Day by U2
They would not let me embedd the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzLWLFTPPI


Here Is WInter Passing, I removed the video, you can probably find it on SLH.

This is my first post of the year, Happy New Year everyone. Well, it is a new year but nothing changes on New Year' Day. I still have to work at the same place, it's so routine, the same old crap every year. I am only doing this for money just so you know. One of my resolutions is to leave the Walmart that I work at, maybe transfer to another I might just get a job at the new Walgreens. I will do anything, whatever it takes, I been working on putting some notes to something that I wrote. I would be willing to build the 51 th state. I feel like a rag doll like a person that is being used, on the edge of just saying blank this, I'm out of here. It's coming, I don't know when but it's coming, I can feel it. It just gets to a point where it is not worth it anymore, I have seen a lot of things that go on in there that you wouldn't believe. It is so unfair. I think I'm going to start with "That One Night In October", there are not any bass parts, and guitar parts yet. song of the day, "New Years Day" by U2 Here is my first favorite video of the new year